Wednesday, May 26, 2010

in your face truth...I like it!

This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull of the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted. Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. Because they all are. Every life is. You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural.
You are more than dust and bones.
You are spirit and power and image of God.
And you have been given Today. 

~Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines 

change is beautiful

Chicago, it's been a pleasure! 

God does his work in mysterious ways, and the last week has been beautiful proof of that! Jason was offered and has accepted a new job and in a whirlwind it's been decided that we'll be saying so long to Chicago and heading to Grand Rapids, MI. We're very excited and can't wait to set roots down back home close to family and friends...but we are sad to say goodbye to the city we've both fallen in love with, and most importantly the community of people we have surrounded ourselves with these past 2 years. 

Jason will be heading to Michigan and starting his new job on June 7th and I'll be living out my lease until the end of August, so once again we'll be cities apart and racking up our mobile minutes and hitting the pavement during the weekends. We've done long distance before, and we can do it again! As different as it will be, we'll be able to focus on ourselves for awhile, and we both know that's important as we get closer and closer to October 30! Being apart will make being together that much more special:) 

So please say a prayer for Jason that he has a smooth transition! I am so proud of him, and so excited for him and this new opportunity! He's going to be amazing! 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Left of Right?

Well, this is an obvious choice... is it not? Of course we like to think of ourselves as anything but average...and we partake in the things we do so that we create memories.Well, I guess I can't speak for everyone, so I wont. I choose to do the things I do because I want to feel alive. I want to remember how I felt...I try to remember the details...if I'm with someone, I want to see how they feel. Are we feeding off each it positive, or negative, or do I just simply feel indifferent? If I'm somewhere new, I want to take in all of my surroundings...the sights, the something tastes if it's the first time I've tried it. There are so many things I know I take for granted and as the days pass (sometimes seeming to pass so slowly) I realize that the months are flying by. I appreciate time. I am sorry that I've often wished it away...especially if I'm looking forward to something.

I have to continue to remind myself that everyday is a gift. I don't always live that way. I know I need to try harder to just be in the present and make the most of it. Otherwise I am being average aren't I?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

it's just that simple

Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.

By the definition above, you can see that this specific post isn't coming from a happy place...but from a very confused one. Of course I will not sit here and say I've never been selfish. I have. Many times. More than I'd like to admit or remember. However, I would like to say that as I grow older and learn more about myself, and the people that I love and care about, that I am capable of taking a step back and looking at each situation...and while acknowledging my own feelings, also taking others into consideration and acting accordingly. Many times I need to lower my expectations, or in some instances raise them. I continue to try putting myself in the other persons shoes instead of just seeing things from my size 7 and 1/2. Each person is unique. Each person has their own opinion and attitude about certain things so with the knowledge I have about the situation and the person I can enter with an open mind, and with honesty, and kindness...I listen, and interact. 

Sometimes, people surprise you, but sometimes it is not in a positive way. It's disheartening when you feel that you aren't being heard, or given the same respect that you are trying to show the other person. I understand that no everyone will feel the same way I do, I actually welcome that in most cases as I myself like to play the devils advocate. But sometimes you have to see past "your own selfishness" to show kindness and love. 

Some people, just don't get it. Either they are oblivious, or are choosing to be selfish. Plain and simple. They put on a good show with smoke and mirrors, but we all know in the end it's fake...pretend...part of a beautifully crafted magic trick.

Treat people how you want to be treated. Listen to people how you want to me listened to. Talk to people how you want to be talked to. Love people how you want to be loved. That's what my mom always taught me! It's that simple. 

Monday, May 17, 2010

Happy Tears

It's Sunday night and I'm sitting on my couch, cuddled up in the blanket my mom made me for my birthday last year, eating pita chips and hummus...and I look down at my shirt which is now drenched as huge tear drops are sliding down my cheeks. I am watching Extreme Home Makeover and bawling like a baby! Now, this should come as no surprise...I cry at every episode, but this one in particular just tugged so hard at my heart strings. I mean, I started to laugh at myself because I was crying so hard! (I'm glad I was alone! haha)

The youngest member of the Williams' family, Jacob, has a disease that causes paralysis from the waist down. The father of the family, Jeremy, was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease two years ago but he has not let the disease slow him down. He coaches a high school football team to a perfect 11-0 season. The Tuohy family (from the Blindside movie) came along to help out! They built the family a beautiful new home, and re-did the locker room for his football team and when they first saw it they were welcomed by a couple of NFL players! Then they showed them their new house and let them know that they had paid off all of their medical bills thanks to help from CVS Pharmacy and paid the mortgage in full so that they wouldn't have the burden of bills. 

I love this show for many reasons, but the main reason being that they show how strong families are when facing hardship. Families that stick together and keep a positive outlook. True love, and gratitude just make my heart melt! It quite honestly puts so many things into perspective and really makes you appreciate what you have. Being healthy is a blessing. Having family is a blessing, and knowing that there are people out there willing to go that extra mile for someone they don't know, is heart warming. So, thank you ABC! :)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Love & Respect

"Each of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5: 33

Last night, Jason and I opened the book "Love & Respect" and started reading. We listened to one another, laughed with one another, and talked about the chapters that we read in all seriousness. This book is enlightening. It speaks so much truth, and I'm sure the further we get into the book, the more serious our talks will get. We want it that way, and we look forward to learning more about ourselves and how to love and respect each other in our marriage. Women and men are very different creatures and the amount of information being given to us in this book helps us to understand each of our most important needs. Women need and want Love. Men need and want learning, and knowing how to give the other person what they need is crucial to having open, clear, and honest communication. In scripture it's written in Ephesians 5:33...we need to do these things for one another strings attached!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!

I'm so happy that we were able to spend time together this Mother's Day! Even though it only comes around once a year, I hope that you know I celebrate you daily! Thank you for taking care of me, teaching me, watching me, listening to me, trusting me, being there for me, and most of all, loving me! I can only hope to be as great of a mom to my children someday! 

All my love always,
Courtney marie

Thursday, May 6, 2010

song of the day

The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and I had my coffee in hand. I put my music on shuffle and this song started my day. It made me emotional. It made me think. Most of all, it made me smile. How amazing life is...and how amazing it is that God is everywhere, and in everything. Like the song says..."how much more proof do we need?"

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

a spoon full of sugar...

Just how short is my fuse? Do I even have a fuse? Some days I am not entirely sure. I take deep breathes, regroup, and say to myself..."get it together Court, it's not a big deal!" Basically, I'm admitting to sweating the small stuff. The smallest stuff. The things I can't control. The things I'll never be able to control. The Lord only knows why I'd even want any kind of control....but here I am. 

Maybe it's a day where nothing seems to go right, and by right I mean the way I wanted it to go. Do I need to readjust my expectations? Of myself? Of other people? Of every situation? Most times I'd like to believe that the people I come into contact with or the situations I find myself in will adhere to my interpretation of what is acceptable...but that's me dreaming out loud. We are who we are, and with effort we can bend, but at the end of the day we just have to try to be the best we can, and a lot of times I fall short, even when I have the best of intentions.

I know sometimes I need to get out of my own way. I know I need to get rid of the pessimistic attitude I know lives in a dark part of me. Sometimes it comes out to play and crashes the party without even an invite. So what is the best thing to do...

Recently, I have found that giving thanks, being kind (even when I feel I can't), and counting every blessing in my life are the many spoons full of sugar that I need to get the dimpled smile back on my face!

I am a woman of God. I am marrying the man of my dreams. My family is amazing. My friends are beautiful. I have a job. I have a roof over my head, and enough money to keep Starbucks in business. Life is good!