bread and wine

She's done it again. Absolutely captured my attention and speaks straight to my heart. Shauna Niequist's new book Bread and Wine (out April 15th) is wonderfully written. I love how she uses real life experience and is so easy to relate to. It's simple, truthful, and raw.

I've only just made a dent into the book, and I'm already offering a rave review. I had no doubt it would be just what I needed to read right now. God has a way of doing that for me...giving me something I need just when I need it.

The chapter that spoke to me the most last night was her chapter titled "Hungry." In a nutshell it's about her struggle with her self image and how it took her a very long time to embrace and admit that she was hungry...wanting to enjoy food and not have it dominate her life and betray her or make her feel ashamed that she wasn't a certain way...looked a certain way. With the joy of her first pregnancy she was able to let go and finally appreciate her body as her view of hunger shifted...which later gave her the opportunity to demonstrate grace and to make peace with imperfection when she looked in the mirror. (Page 36, Bread & Wine)

This chapter spoke to me because as a woman I believe that we always feel the pressure to be a certain way, act a certain way, react a certain way, and look a certain way. Mad when something doesn't fit the way we want, or when we step on the scale and it's not the number we want to see.
I admit I sometimes curse my closet and give the evil eye to that pair of pants that just don't quite fit post pregnancy. I promise myself I'll eat better, run longer, and give up mountain dew and pasta.

Then I read Chapter 3 of Bread & Wine and I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one. It's funny how that works. I keep reading and then there it is, the thing I've been needing to hear..

"I've lost the pounds and gained them, made and abandoned plans and promises, cried tears of frustration, pinched the back of my upper arms with hatred that scares me. And through it all, I've made friends, fallen in love, gotten married and become a mother. I've written and traveled and stayed up late with people I love. I've walked on the beach and in glittering city streets. I've kissed my baby's cheek's and danced with my husband and laughed until I cried with my best friends, and through all that it really didn't matter that I was heavier than I wanted to be."

Thank you Shauna, thank you.