thinking and thinking some more

Finding a quiet space, reading...I mean really reading...and re-reading and thinking, and gaining perspective is one of my favorite things about investing in other blogs. Blogs by men, or women, or moms, or singles, or christians, or dog lovers, of food lovers, or or whatever else there is out there...there's always something I come across that seems to stick in my head. I'm either grateful for it because it's made me think of ways I can improve myself and the way I'm living my life, or irritated that I read it because it's something I can't wrap my mind around.

Recently there have been a couple of posts by blogs I loyally follow that have me in a tizzy. The post either stikes a cord and I can completely relate, or I read something like the insert below and I can't seem to stop thinking about discontentment and where this may have a place in my present right now.

I love reading Annie Blogs. She's funny, down to earth, hilarious, and every post reads very real to me. She recently wrote a post on this book  (Beyond Ordinary) and 1. I want to read the book,  2. the insert below is what I've had stuck in my head over the past couple of days.

“Discontentment always pushes us to compare what we have to what someone else already has. But comparison is never about the person we are comparing ourselves too but rather it’s about the condition of our heart. Discontentment leads to entitlement, which sets the tone that when people fail to meet our expectations we are owed even more.

That's a mouthful isn't it?

Of course I can only speak for myself here, so I have to admit that any or every comparison that I make absolutely has to do with where I'm at and what I'm happy about or not happy about. What I have or what I don't, and it has nothing to do with whatever I've chosen to fixate on. I have been asking myself where my heart is at...and I feel that even when things aren't just as I feel they should be, I need to remember that it's not my plan in the making, it's His, and they are perfect for where I am in life right now. I am so quick to look past what's in front of me that I take for granted everything that I need to be thankful for.

The second part is what scares me. Expectations are a stinker. Even when we go on and on and on about how we don't have them (we do, just admit it) so this is when things can get messy. I know I have expectations, mainly for the way I'm treated by others around me. Whether you're a stranger or someone I've know for more than a decade. Golden rule: Treat others how you want to be treated. It's simple, easy to understand, and completely doable. Now, having said that, I am not perfect and I sometimes mess up and not so tolerable Courtney escapes, so I take full responsibility. That's just a smallish example for you to chew on. I guess in the grand scheme of things I don't ever want to feel that I'm owed anything. I want to put good out into the universe and hopefully it'll all come around and keep going around not just for me, but for everyone around me.So, I think all I can do is just keep this small insight in my back pocket and dust it off whenever that sneaky little expectation rears it's ugly head.

Slowing down. Appreciating the blessings, big and small, or maybe not even placing them into a box of any size. Remaining thankful. Being better than the day before, and using every bit of breathing room I have make sure I can continue doing all of the above.

running and I almost like it

If you are annoyed by my instagram posts about making good life choices, it seems as though I really am!! I figured it was a fun way to keep motivated, and hold myself accountable. Yes, I am running. I know I know....when and how did all of this come about, well I made a promise to myself on Dec 28th that I was HONESTLY and fiercely going to do something about this baby weight. Ryleigh is way past 1 and I'm still hanging on to more than I should be. The free for all of unhealthy eating is done, and I'm trying my hardest to stay on the right track.

Running is something I've never, ever, ever, liked doing. I got bored. I couldn't breathe, and I just wasn't motivated. But now, after making myself get out there and do it, I don't hate it. I still don't like it...but maybe that'll change. We are still getting to know each other...this running and I. So the next couple of dates with the sidewalk may or may not tell me if we're in this for the long haul. I'll get back to you on that.

The goal right now is to run for a good amount of time without stopping to walk. Now, this might be a laughable goal to some of you, but honestly, it's awesome when I can make it back to the house with this awesome sense of accomplishment...high five myself  (I do this, but it looks awkward) and head inside to get a hug from my biggest and littlest fans. I've done it enough times that I'm confident that I can continue to run without stopping for as far as I want, just depends on my pace. So a run or 2 ago I started to use the mapmyrun app just to see how long it was really taking me when I went  however far I felt like going that day and to my amazement I was actually running faster than I thought. Bonus!

Now, January is really a very silly time to decide to do this. 19 degrees was my coldest run, and I couldn't feel my legs after the first mile. Quite honestly, I think it might have helped me continue.
Regardless, I give myself props for getting out there in the winter. It's NOT very fun, and it's definitely not easy, but when I get out of a hot shower I feel pretty darn good about what I've done.

I've got some help from the sis in law and our cousin who have decided to join me in the instagram accountability group...so fun to encourage one another and get that cyber high five from them!

Taking on the treadmill tonight...instagram pic to come..

16 Months and growing...

My little girl is the funniest, most strong willed, tiny human that I know. I'm biased ofcourse.She makes my life so much brighter and this journey just keeps getting better and better.

 

Right now we're in the phase of...running everywhere, forget walking. That takes too long! Opening and closing doors. She's a pro and we haven't caught any fingers just yet. I do have some Hello Kitty band aids and a first aid kit waiting just in case. My favorite word she says is "peeeeeeas" which translated means "please". She always says it with such enthusiasm because she now realizes that this gets her what she wants...well...99% of the time.

For our dancing entertainment we have moved on from Gangnam Style to Domino by Jessie J (Thank goodness, I wasn't sure how much more I could take of that ridiculous song.) Ry loves all carbs. She is her mothers daughter. Bread could be a basic food group. I know I know, that sounds horrible, and I promise Jason and I try everything possible to get those fruits, veggies, and protein into her little body, but often times fail until her after dinner snack. Don't judge me.

I am going to blame daycare for this new little tantrum trick she has perfected... throwing her body to the floor while crying louder and louder the more "no's" she hears. I may or may not have had to go lock myself in the bathroom for a minute to pray and get myself together. The crying and whining is a true test to our patience as parents.

She loves keys, shirtless after dinner strolls with her baby stroller, brushing her teeth, and yelling at us like a little dictator "Nana, Nana" which in Ryleigh world means "Get me a banana now!" Now meaning like 5 minutes ago. Oh I love her.

Jason and I can sing the Little Einstein's intro song in our sleep, and read Goodnight Moon with our eyes closed.

Our little family makes my heart smile more than I ever thought it could. Being a parent and a wife is incredibly humbling. As I write this I'm reminded of the beauty in the unplanned and ability to learn from everything put in front of me.

Looking forward to whatever comes next, with a thankful heart, and an open mind....